Arequipa/Colca

The craic turned out to be more of a crag.

Seeing as I already "did" Machu Picchu (tourist derp) in my unappreciative pubescence I thought I'd give it a miss especially as this time of year it gets as busy as a face giveaway at an Ugly Convention. So I opted instead for Peru's third most touristy thing to do, el Cañon de Colca which slices through the Andes for 100km and is supposedly the world's second deepest. Taking the 3 day trek through the valley is actually fucking divine. There's the cop-out 1-day visit but you don't get to frolic through the toxic plants and wear cactus lipstick and walk until your legs dismantle. I know how bloody pretentious I sound but honestly if you're round this neck of the woods do it, they say it's harder and sweeter than the Inca Trail. Cuzco is old news yo.

Colc.

I do have a problem with all this backpacker brown nosing though (as hypocritical as it is; I am only half gringo though shh) as it's very tourist-centric and thus everything costs an arm and a dick. Not unaffordable, just you get conned like a homeopathist. Less self-pityingly, it changes their culture too - you get KFCs and pizza places popping up and the once strong boulder-shifting Incas with lungs the size of zeppelins are now wheezing sweaty piñatas of glut. STOP THE TOURIST POISON. Actually it's probably just Unilever being shit but I need something to complain about.

Also my bank card got blocked for "suspicious behaviour". Natwest can get rabies and die. It's my fault really for going out to play without their permission.